Monday, June 18, 2007

All Used Up

His body rummaged through
drowning lungs of inevitability,
searching for the proper breaths
to accompany him to death.

There were only a few left—
short, gasping rattlers,
but he used every one
before the next occupant took his bed.

20 comments:

Cathy said...

Oh, Pat; this one is so sad. I hope it's not someone you knew!

Russell Ragsdale said...

Fear dances in the shadow here hoping to go unnoticed. Death is the candle and we - not one of us - wants to admit we are the moths. A poem with a decidedly dark side, my friend.

Inconsequential said...

Excellent piece.
Well, a theme I explore often at least :)

Thanks for the encouragement over the past year, you've been an inspiration…(and yes, you may not have actively done either, but sometimes what we take is as important as what we are given)

I shall still come and visit, as a lurker if nothing else, despite the paths I have yet to walk.

Don Iannone said...

Pat, you do have a way with words. I have to agree with Russell. Good one.

polona said...

oh, that's a sad one.
but well done!

Masago said...

Yes, sad. Was that "...using every one...", or "using everyone", or both?

Carol said...

A stark reminder of how many people leave this earth every minute.
It is good to read of the different sides to your poetry.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I guess we'll all end this way -- sooner or later. great writing.

floots said...

so much power in such a short peace
(i could hear my dying dad's cough)
well done

dsnake1 said...

sad, but i guess that's what happening in a hospital.

Rax said...

you've captured such a sad and helpless moment. I'm rendered speechless with both the raw emotion of this piece and its corresponding demanded silence for reflection and respect for those who have passed. and maybe a tinge of fear lurking, knowing that it is an inevitable even we all will go through. wonderful and moving write.

rdl said...

says a lot in a few. I like it!

Katie McKenna said...

ohhhh! So thought provoking.... waking up numerous emotions....
Well done indeed!

Janice Thomson said...

This is a dark piece and yet it is a fact of life that we mostly try to ignore. A powerful and thought-provoking poem Pat!

sage said...

yes, it's sad, but also true... good poem, it reminds us of the end that must come to all

trinitystar said...

sign of the times ... almost like a conveyer belt ... sad, but excellent description!

Pat Paulk said...

Cathy, yes and no. More some words popped into my pea brain and I built the poem around them.

Russell, for sure we are th moths coming to the flame, and yet, we dance in the light...

Thanks Inconsequential!! Your work is good and Ihope you will continue to post on your blog. Go for two.

Thanks Don!!

Thanks Polona!!

Thanks Vaughn!! I look and reread and sometimes I just don't see.

Carol, they do and all around us. Thank you!!

Andrew, I'm pretty sure that's true.

Thanks Floots!! Sometimes, they keep coming longer than they should.

Dsanke, yes it is!! Or, Hospice.

Thanks Rax for your kind comment!!

Thanks RDL for the visit and comment!!

Thank you Katie!!

Janice, it is, but maybe not as dark as our fear dictates.

Thanks Sage!!

Trinitystar, I've often thought of it like that. Thanks!!

fotoface said...

I so like this, you can hear the
the cry and feel the drowning light

writerwoman said...

This poem will be linked to by PWB on July 13th as part of our July Collection.

Thank you for being part of PWB.

m0nkeyboy said...

Just a brief moment, but you say so much in that moment.