Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Double Down

From behind
crow caws and caws,
dark horizon

Phone call,
check’s not in the mail,
oh shit...

14 comments:

firebird said...

That last line, while not in traditional poetic language,
is most appropriately expressed...

Amalendu said...

well-said Pat...

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

the second one --- I've been there SO many times! :)

Borut said...

Well, I'm sorry to hear that Pat! Told almost without suspense!:)

floots said...

two sides of life

Pat Paulk said...

Vivian, I wrestled with that a little, but thought exactly that. There is no better way to express it, even if it is way over used.

Thanks Amalendu!! More piddling with words, than writing poetry I think.

Andrew, a fact of life for most of us sometime.

Borut, no suspense in that.

Floots, that's true. Now, if I can only find that other side.

trinitystar said...

who is cawing now?

:o)

sage said...

I chuckled at the ending!

Kai C. said...

ha! made me laugh

gautami tripathy said...

I enjoyed this!

polona said...

pat, you never cease to amaze!
nice venture into senryu :)

MB said...

You got the feel!

Masago said...

I know the feeling very well!

Don Iannone said...

Been there and done that!

Nice poem evoking unfortunate memories, and reminding me that often work is not the better part of what we do...