The sun climbed a tall pine,
as it does on cloudless days.
At the top, it leaped and flew, like
a blazing hawk honed in on a prey.
Its fiery feet grabbed the horizon, then
slipped away in the dark of night.
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24 comments:
I enjoyed this, not just because I like hawks, but for the simile and the rhymes and near rhymes in it that make it quite musical.
Spectacular imagery Pat!
great imagery... love it!
A haunting image!:)
Back to back poems about a day--reminds me of Teyve in Fiddler on the Roof, or The Moody Blues "Days of Future Past" Keep writing!
Very nice! I had to get a new computer -- had too many problems with the old one - and I was finally able to hear you again. :)
Its fiery feet grab the horizon,
Just as it does ... great imagery ... great flow too.
Have a wonderful weekend Pat ... you and your family.
:o)
stunning image, pat.
Ohhhhh...very nice, Pat!
thats a really great imagery poem.
The sun should be the same evrywhere, but it's odd how different places observe a sunset differently. I'm looking forward to sunrises in New Mexico, where I can see the horizon, but my God how I'll miss the pines.
sooooooo cool!
Powerful image!
I like the way the sun leaps and flies like a blazing hawk...So beautiful imagery..
Indeed quite the image and imagination. Good one, Pat.
Beautiful poem.
It's the first time I've met sound in a blog. Cool.
First, I found myself drawn along not just by your imagery but by the sound, the musicality -like MB mentions. But while the last line was consistent with what preceeded it in other respects, to me the sound dropped off at that point.
Maybe just me! I don't know; what do you think?
one of your very best pat
absolutely loved it
wow.
I love the way "prey" kept reminding me of "prayer" every time I read the poem. I can imagine the prey praying religiously.
I'm sorry my sound card packed up some time ago. I'll have to hear this one on somebody else's computer. Brilliant.
Just playing catch up :)
some good stuff as usual Pat.
spring concert in particular.
I have never seen a very fast moving cloud but I like your imagery.
still waiting, Pat.....
MB, your comments are always greatly appreciated.
Thank you Janice Thomson!!
Thanks Polona!!
That bloody Sun hawk abscounding with the horizon. Thanks Borut!!
Sage, thanks for placing me in such talented company!!
Thanks Andrew!! Good luck with the new computer.
Thanks Trinitystar!! Hope and yours did.
Thanks Dsanke!!
Thank you Pris!!
Thanks Kai!!
Janedoughnut, sounds like it will be a great move. Thanks!!
Thank you Janice!!
Thanks Vaughn!!
Thank you Gautami!!
Thanks Don!!
Britt-Arnhild, glad to introduce you to sound in a blog. Thank you!!
Thanks Paul!! It probably could've stood a little more editing on the reading.
Thanks Floots!!
Thanks for the WOW Corey!!
Rethabile, I like that. I can imagine the screech of a hawk, the racing little heartbeats wondering if they're the target. Thanks!!
Thanks Inconsequential!!
Thanks C!!
Thanks Andrew for the prodding.
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