Today, the rain sparred
with trees, bricks and four lane slugs,
like a boxer throwing jabs,
whap-whap! whap-whap!
step back, step back...
Black cloud spectators thundered
for a follow-up hard right,
hoping to see somebody
get their lights knocked out.
Originals are better than remakes.
About Me
- Pat Paulk
- 2009! 57 years ago in April I was a 2# squealing baby boy. Got a wonderful tan in an incubator. Made friends with plastic tubing, needles and tape. All of which I have zero recollection. I've been well watered and fertilized over the years, and grown quite ripe. Plastic tubing, needles and tape are catalysts for flashbacks without the buzz. Enjoy!
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15 comments:
love this poem pat -- short, sharp and punchy (sorry, couldn't resist). i am also intrigued by the many violent images in your work (something masago commented on recently) ... where do you think that comes from? :-)
ps: i pray that you don't own a gun! ;-)
the fresh violence of a storm
good to be inside watching!
I think 8 people did, get their "lights" knocked out sparring with the lightening...somewhere up North....luckily I wasn't one of them. haha
I like to spar with the rain......whil I garden.......
Loved this Pat.
Wow, must have been some storm!
Great poem Pat!
Loved it!
Quite a storm you had there!
superb
what a great take
well done
You show human nature graphically...there are many black cloud spectators among us who delights in seeing others go down under the bashing of life's rains!
short, sharp and mean.
what a great way to describe a storm!
love it!
we had the same kind of day, Pat.
Personification, alegory, metaphore - some pretty heavy punches there. Great write!
great one. Funny how I project my own self onto your work and it changes to be this gargantuan slug...I am feeling like a four lane slug this morning ... All I could think was they grow those snails big in Atlanta...as my mind conjurs a slug that could eat New York!
focus M...
great poem and when I wake up I will read it properly!
Karasu, I do own a gun!! An air pump Daisy BB rifle. I also have a 20 foot tree limb saw(comes in handy when removing a 6 foot black snake with 50 BB's in it). I have a serrated letter opener but as yet it hasn't seen any action. Maybe a T-Rex in another life?? Thank you!!
Steve, we needed it. At least the off and on of it didn't spoil the whole day.
Nea, like Steve I like my rain sparring from inside. Most of what we got had lost it's intensity back in Arkansas and Mississippi. Thank you Nea!!
Vaughn, it was the on and off of it that got my brain waves churning.
Margie, it was much needed. Thank you!!
Thank you Floots!!
Plus, you are so right!! Some intentionally generate it for whatever reasons. You have developed this in your last two postings very well!!
Dsnake, well, storms are necessary but they are violent. Wonder what that means?? Thank you sir!!
Cathy, guess it was just a rainy Sunday. Not all bad.
Russell, pretty heavy comment!! Thank you!!! You still owe me a recipe.
Thank you Kai!!
Mikaelah, that's the great thing about poetry, you can do that. One day I'm going to wake up before I write these!!
Been a long time since I've been in a storm like that.
Four lane slugs-he he now I know thats just what the rain brings with so much dark as well as light you made a rainbow
hey, you must have been travelling home with me last weekend! 'cause that's exactly what it looked like from inside my car with all that rain pounding and lightning flashing all around... didn't knock me out, though :)
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