Friday, September 29, 2006

A Hanging Of Sorts

“Your poems are like clanking skeletons
hanging from a tree. They need
skin and nerve-bitten fingernails,
eyebrows that need plucking,
a beer-cratered belly button, and
hair that changes color from
red to blue to green to orange.”
Quite a critique I thought.
“Flesh them out!” (a blue-gray
corpse stolen from the grave
by corporate somebody waving
a white towel from the 32nd floor
of a glass phalanx, signaling surrender
to thinking as an intelligent life form).
But I like bones, and
the wind-chime rattle they make,
as invisible scurrying couriers whisper wonders,
sinew and silk nooses can’t hear.

(This isn't written as a response to anyone. More to the internal argument between me and my muse. The poem, as most do, took on a life of its own. Hope all have a great wekend!)


Natalia L. Rudychev said...

Excellent write! I know these arguments with the muse. She has a life of her own. Have a great weekend!

Poetry by Kai said...

great image


MB said...

I like a poem pared down to the bone. There's an elegance to bare necessity.

polona said...

sometimes less is more :)
excellent write, you two!
hope you have a great weekend, too!

samuru999 said...

Great poem Pat!
Hope your weekend is great too!

Pecos Blue said...

this was good--thank you for dropping by our site.

Amalendu said...

A difficult argument I understand Pat. But its a great poem...

floots said...

i have these inner debates
i too like bones
nice one

Russell Ragsdale said...

Have a good weekend Pat. See you when the toss of the coin comes up Monday. Dr. Flesh says you don't need an osteopathologist.

dsnake1 said...

are you giving the muse your 2 cents worth or was it the other way round? :)

if only my muse was that eloquent.

gulnaz said...

i can relate to this poem very well, to the internal argument that you write abuot, so picturesqly at that!

have a great weekend

Joyce said...

I can tell you are in love with words!

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Love the pictures this paints, you went wild with them love it

C said...

Bones - they have a story to tell but without the flesh they are stony wind chimes.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I like it! You sure were hard on yourself, though. :)

Masago said...

"I says to myself, 'self'..."

I think you shouldn't pay much attention to your muse...or is it your self you shouldn't pay much attention to...the point is, keep writin' 'em like you have been and we'll keep readin' 'em. :-)

Don Iannone said...

I can imagine this exchange. And it is good, it is a-musing.

Christine Klocek-Lim said...

Pat, I like bones, too. Poems and bones seem to go together, for some reason. Hope things are well with you!

Poetry by Kai said...

thank u

Pat Paulk said...

Thank you Natalia!! She definitely does!! I did!!

Thanks Kai!!

Yes ma'am there is!! I definitely like "bare" necessities! Thank you MB!!

Polona, sometimes it is. Thank you from the both of us!!

Thank you Margie, it was!!

Pecos blue, thanks for returning the visit and commenting!!

Amalendu, sometimes she can be very stubborn. Thank you!!

Floots, I'm not sure I ever win. thank you!!

Thanks Dr. Flesh!!

Dsnake, I give my 2 cents, but, she never takes it. Thank you!!

Gulnaz, it's when we get to arguing over the commas that's aggrevating. Thank you!!

Joyce, I am!!

Thank you Sue!!

C, I like the way you put that!

Andrew as unruly as I can get, I need to be! Thank you!!

Vaughn, it's the muse that doesn't pay too much attention to me. But, then no one else does either. Thank you!!

Thanks Don, for the "a-musing" comment!!

Christine, they certainly do!! I am very fine, thank you for asking!

gautami tripathy said...

“Flesh them out!” (a blue-gray form)"

These lines stay in mind long after. I just couldn't get over the picture.

Pat Paulk said...

What's a dead metaphor among friends? Thank you Gautami!!

Nea said...

Hey, who said that? haha

I guess we can critique our own poetry as much as we want to.....huh.

clanking skeletons huh.....well I like bones also....

Pat Paulk said...

She's not so sutle Nea. Thanks you!!

bre said...

intriguing, and intense.