Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You Decide Which

The rain descended
upon the concrete road
like a horde of wild men wielding
a million flaying fists;
blow, after bursting blow,
slammed into white,
granite-freckled skin.
The Sun leaped
from behind the clouds,
like a fire-fat, super hero,
chasing the water miscreants
into a field of tractor-dug graves.
An incident of injustice, or
a matter of time and place?
You decide which...

19 comments:

Masago said...

Another war epic, or the script for an episode of The Twilight Zone? You decide which. :-) Thumbs up.

Hototogisu said...

i love this one pat -- particularly these lines: a million flaying fists / blow, after bursting blow / slammed into white / granite-freckled skin. i can feel the pain from here! ;-)

David said...

hello pat, thanks for sharing your gift with us

Osquer said...

I love the way you describe things, Pat. I can hear those wet little fists pounding (pleasantly - like a massage) on the roof of my mind.

samuru999 said...

Great poem Pat!

dsnake1 said...

First, it was "The sun slid
orange-face smashed
down a blue-altar wall"

from Revolving Sacrifice.

Now, it's "The rain descended
upon the concrete road
like a horde of wild men wielding
a million flaying fists;"


Hmm, this is getting rough, but I like! :)

Borut said...

Great!!! But, why me, Pat?!:) You know how indecisive Libras can be…:)

floots said...

"fire-fat super hero" must be the most original description of the sun i've ever read
this sure beats the weather forecast pat :)
good write

{Minion} said...

Cool stuff.

Thanks for the visit/comment btw.

shall be having a rootle through your achives :)

samuru999 said...

Thanks Pat!
My blog is not fixed yet!
I cannot leave comments!
So, I'm leaving my comment for you here!
Thanks for stopping by to read my little poem!

Jon Cox said...

Oh wow!!! Very well done & creative! :o)

Joyce said...

Such vivid images!

C said...

I see some of the chaos of 9/11 in this - I do not know - maybe it is because of the lines... horde of wild men / fire-fat, superhero / chasing... maybe that is not what you intended though. It is interesting how everyone sees something different.

Thanks for your comment on my unintended prose.

Poetry by Kai said...

mmmmmmmmm....
interesting

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I really like how you ended it.

Jon Cox said...

Thank you so much for stopping by & for your great comments! I appreciate it a lot! :o)

steve said...

great descriptions! mythological stuff going on that we don't perceive but makes for very appealing explanations.

Amalendu said...

A matter of time and place, I decided...may be I am wrong, I am not bothered...but your poem gives me immense satisfaction.....Well said Pat

Pat Paulk said...

I think Twilight Zone. Thanks Vaughn!!

Thank you Karasu!!

David, thanks for reading!!

Yep, that's just little ole me. Thanks Osquer!!

Thank you Margie!!

Dsnake, it's a rough neighborhood these days. Thank you!!

Borut, gives you something to think about!! Thank you!!

Floots, the "fire fat super hero" couldn' get out of his telephone booth today. thank you!!

Minion, I hope you rottled a good find. Thanks for coming by!!

Margie, it's my pleasure!!

Thanks Jon!!

Thank you Joyce!!

C, for something unintended, it was very well done. No 9/11 shadows.

Thanks Kai!!

Thank you Andrew!!

Thanks Steve!!

Shyamalee, I think you're right!!