The rain descended
upon the concrete road
like a horde of wild men wielding
a million flaying fists;
blow, after bursting blow,
slammed into white,
granite-freckled skin.
The Sun leaped
from behind the clouds,
like a fire-fat, super hero,
chasing the water miscreants
into a field of tractor-dug graves.
An incident of injustice, or
a matter of time and place?
You decide which...
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16 comments:
Another war epic, or the script for an episode of The Twilight Zone? You decide which. :-) Thumbs up.
i love this one pat -- particularly these lines: a million flaying fists / blow, after bursting blow / slammed into white / granite-freckled skin. i can feel the pain from here! ;-)
hello pat, thanks for sharing your gift with us
I love the way you describe things, Pat. I can hear those wet little fists pounding (pleasantly - like a massage) on the roof of my mind.
Great poem Pat!
First, it was "The sun slid
orange-face smashed
down a blue-altar wall"
from Revolving Sacrifice.
Now, it's "The rain descended
upon the concrete road
like a horde of wild men wielding
a million flaying fists;"
Hmm, this is getting rough, but I like! :)
Great!!! But, why me, Pat?!:) You know how indecisive Libras can be…:)
"fire-fat super hero" must be the most original description of the sun i've ever read
this sure beats the weather forecast pat :)
good write
Thanks Pat!
My blog is not fixed yet!
I cannot leave comments!
So, I'm leaving my comment for you here!
Thanks for stopping by to read my little poem!
Such vivid images!
I see some of the chaos of 9/11 in this - I do not know - maybe it is because of the lines... horde of wild men / fire-fat, superhero / chasing... maybe that is not what you intended though. It is interesting how everyone sees something different.
Thanks for your comment on my unintended prose.
mmmmmmmmm....
interesting
I really like how you ended it.
great descriptions! mythological stuff going on that we don't perceive but makes for very appealing explanations.
A matter of time and place, I decided...may be I am wrong, I am not bothered...but your poem gives me immense satisfaction.....Well said Pat
I think Twilight Zone. Thanks Vaughn!!
Thank you Karasu!!
David, thanks for reading!!
Yep, that's just little ole me. Thanks Osquer!!
Thank you Margie!!
Dsnake, it's a rough neighborhood these days. Thank you!!
Borut, gives you something to think about!! Thank you!!
Floots, the "fire fat super hero" couldn' get out of his telephone booth today. thank you!!
Minion, I hope you rottled a good find. Thanks for coming by!!
Margie, it's my pleasure!!
Thanks Jon!!
Thank you Joyce!!
C, for something unintended, it was very well done. No 9/11 shadows.
Thanks Kai!!
Thank you Andrew!!
Thanks Steve!!
Shyamalee, I think you're right!!
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