Thursday, August 17, 2006

Winding Down

Liquid sun crawls through her hair
like worms in a bait bucket,
yellow and dirty, grey tufts
of pillow-tangling strands.
No more hiding behind
plastic bottles of wash and wear youth,
she can’t remember why.
Hands on the clock slowly turn,
unwinding...

22 comments:

Aurora said...

Well done, Pat.

Osquer said...

I can see my now deceased grandma sitting in the sun. I remember brushing her hair for her...I realize now she must have understood so much more than I ever gave her credit for.

Thank you, Pat.

jel said...

this does bring to mind , of my Granny, when she would brush out her long hair, she was in her 80's and her hair was still yellow with grey and white strands!

thanks for that thought

take care

MB said...

Kind of grim and sad, but very effective and affecting. Nice work.

Borut said...

Well, for me this one is also about time!.:)) And what to do with the timepiece…?:) W.S. Burroughs, one of my literary ‘gurus’, said we are in the age of transcending time and space. Hem, are we?!:)

Mango Lane said...

Hi Pat,
I`m here to let you know of a change re: the FFMB`s 1st yr. party. It has been moved a day ahead to Friday the 17th. Hope to "see" you there.
The poem is quite sad but true. I do enjoy reading your poetry.

polona said...

ah... poignant write... you're so good at this!

Mango Lane said...

Hi again,
That should have read Friday the 18th. Sorry.

Don Iannone said...

Cool! Worms? It is an apt one conveying the feeling.

Poetry by Kai said...

GOOD ONE

Russell Ragsdale said...

Beat by a too tough clock! My mom just celebrated her 95th birthday by going for a ride in a hot air balloon. Great job with a tough theme!

mikaelah said...

oh my! lots of places to sift and sink into...

samuru999 said...

I really do love your poems!
This is an other great one!
Always those wonderful words!

Hototogisu said...

Pat, I really enjoyed this piece. These lines, in particular, elevated my sensibilities to a new level:

"Liquid sun crawls through her hair"

"No more hiding behind
plastic bottles of wash and wear youth"

Pure gold! I envy your mastery of the English language. Thank you.

Amalendu said...

very impressive poem Pat...each word is powerfully scripted then the other...
I loved the way you said "liquid sun crawls through her hair...."

Nea said...

Pat, I would be curious, anyone specific in mind with this one?
I know that most say it reminds them of their grandma, but I have to say, this is quite an apt description of the 50ish woman who now has to buy her hair color. Hair begins to thin at around 50, and there is a definite, "winding down". I will be glad if I have ANY hair by 80 or 90.

steve said...

the unwinding passage of time...very good!

floots said...

wonderfully done pat
and
as a man of a certain age
full of poignant reality
for me

jel said...

Morning Pat,

thanks for stopping by,and the comment. and it does!

Pat Paulk said...

Thank you Aurora!!

Osquer, they do. Thank you!!

Glad to bring back pleasant memories!! Thank you Jel!!

Mb, it is sad how much age, and related diseases, can take from people. Thank you!!

Borut, that clock runs down everyday for all of us. Thank you!!

Mango Lane, I'll be there!!

Polona, you make me feel good at this!!

Thanks Don!!

THANK YOU KAI!!!

Russell, great for your MOM!!!! That is too cool!! Thank you!!

Mikaelah, we all just slip, slide away. Thanks!!

Margie, I do love your comments!! Thank you!!

Karasu, I don't know about mastery, probably more like a wrecking ball operator: slam enough of them around eventually something falls out right. Thank you for such a kind compliment!!

Thank you Shyamalee!!

Nea, no. I've been in enough nursing homes/assisted living facilities it's a general reference to the deleterious effects of aging. Thank you!!

Thanks Steve!!

Floots, I suspect you and I have seen alot of the same years. Maybe, writing about it is a way of coping. Thank you!!

Afternoon Jel!! Was my pleasure!!

dumbdodi said...

Kids and elderly crave for our attention and affection.
Thank you for the beautiful portrayal of old age

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

This is so very sad because it is a fear I hold like everyone I suppose-getting old and maintaining your dignity is hard